Thursday, September 8, 2011

Retail Therapy

I shouldn't have given away the location of my new home. Minneapolis is huge, but still. I was downtown enjoying the morning and looking for a job (and maybe a new outfit) when I saw her. MrStumblr's psycho therapist. So I turned and ran. Stupid mistake number two. Running attracts attention. She followed.

I was almost to my car when she caught me. I landed face first on the concrete and she pulled a knife out. This is broad daylight in the middle of a busy street and she's pulling out weapons. So much for her being intelligent. Either she wasn't ever that smart or she degraded. Maybe both. Lucky for me, a bystander had one of those personal taser things. They got her dead center in the back and she just fell on top of me. So of course I pushed her off of me and climbed in my car.

And here's where things go further south. My phone was no longer in my pocket, meaning I couldn't call 911. It fell out and onto the concrete when I landed. Then her knife hit the screen when she fell. It's completely ruined. Someone else already called the police though and they arrived soon enough. She's supposedly in custody, we'll see how long that lasts. I gave a statement down at the hospital while they patched up my now broken nose.

I wish it ended here, but it doesn't. When I finally got home, there was a message on the phone. Guardian left it, of course. "Keep this phone with you. You need more help than you realize." I suppose I might as well. I hardly use my cellphone anyway and my contract's up. I'll call and cancel my service in a bit. All the same, I'm keeping the GPS services off on this phone for safety reasons.

So a question to anyone reading. Do you know how to get blood out of a blouse or car upholstery? Broken noses bleed a lot.

Oh, and my new locks are staying locked, just in case.


  1. Well, at least you're not more seriously hurt.

    I've heard Oxyclean works well. Peroxide is cheaper though provided the shirt/upholstery is white. Did a little googling and apparently soaking the fabric in cold water and applying salt or meat tenderizer works the best. Hospitals use a saline solution to break down the proteins in blood. Meat tenderizer apparently works well because of the salt and enzymes.

  2. Meat tenderizer... I was very nervous about this, but it worked. Thanks Mystery!

  3. You're welcome :)

    Maybe you should get one of those tasers for yourself.