Wednesday, November 30, 2011


First off, let me tell you all I'm a little drunk. I'm going to have one bitching hangover, and I honestly don't care because right now this wine is so good. Don't worry, I'll proofread this once the hangover's gone, make it my usual grammatically correct style. Future me, this is a promise I'm making myself, don't break it. Edit for spelling and grammar, not content.

Now then, onto the good stuff. I'm drinking more than I have in a long time for one very important reason: I miss MrStumblr. A lot. And Guardian makes me miss him more. The two are very much alike. They harbor a lot of anger, but they're nice guys. Of course, once I started drinking, I got sad I was getting so drunk that I started drinking more. (Editor's note: Yeah, I get stupid when I'm drunk. And chatty. I hate Drunk!Me)

Now, Guardian's been silent for quite a while. I haven't heard from him since I left Hope, which scares me. And what scares me more is the fact that I'm scared I haven't heard from him! He's done nothing at all to earn my trust or loyalty, but for some reason, he has both. I don't know why, but whenever I hear from him, it's like, everything else melts away and all I have is honesty and blind faith. It'll probably get me killed one day, but for now I'm safe.

Next, the key. I still don't know how it works, but I tried it again. I don't have to go through the door, I can close it and remove the key and the door is normal again. Which is good because this time I heard screaming. It sounded like children. Not young kids, but not old either. Or maybe of every age, I don't know anymore. But it terrifies me, I can't get it out of my head and there was nothing I could do to help. I think there's something in that world, so I really don't want to go back.

Well crap, the wine's gone. Moving onto the brandy. Yeah, this is much better.

I think I'm going mad. But can an insane person know they're insane? If someone thinks they're insane, does that make them sane? My thoughts bounce around so much these days. I don't know what to do, but I need to do something. So I'm going to start reading everything. I want to start with the modern stuff. People are blogging and recording him even now. They've done so much digging already, I want to compile their theories and find one that works.

But maybe that's a bad idea. The more you know about him, the more he stalks you, isn't that right? But I'm on the third floor, I should be safe, right? I think I should stop forcing all of my problems on you and just get to work. I don't feel right asking you all to confirm my every step, I'm a grown woman, I should be able to do things for myself.


Argh, that was about twelve hours ago. My hangover isn't gone, but it's better. Asprin and lots of water are helping. I think that's what I was intending to say. I kept my promise to myself, nothing was cut from that post, but I almost feel like I'm too emotional to post it all. I don't know, maybe I'll feel better with some feedback.


  1. Hang in there, Lex,
    Research is a good plan, you need knowledge to keep yourself alive.

  2. I'm just worried about that. Knowledge is power, but it's also a proven magnet. It draws him to you. Guess I'll do what I can with what I have left.